Nowadays, people are obsessed with over-the-counter medicines and dietary supplements, and they don’t seem to mind that these products often have long lists of warnings and possible side effects. This makes me wonder if we can market wine in a similar format.

OTC medicines

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? Do you sometimes feel stressed?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, wine may be your solution.

Made from 100% grape juice, wine is a safe, natural way to help you to you feel better and more confident. It can help to ease you out of your shyness and tell the world that you’re ready and willing to do just about anything!

Wine comes in three attractive colours: white, pink and red. You can select your preferred flavours, from green apple to blackberry, and spice it up with your favourite herb or add a dash of vanilla, coffee or even cigar. It can be shipped from over 50 countries.

Wine glasses

Recommended dosage: two glasses with meals, two times per day.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, loss of motor control, delusions of grandeur, table dancing and a desire to sing karaoke.

Side effects

Warnings – overconsumption of wine may:

  • Make you think you are whispering when you are not
  • Cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them
  • Cause you to think you can sing well
  • Create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people

    Glass of wine

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A marketer turned winemaker, I make, promote, judge, write about and drink wine.

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